By Lori Jones
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February 11, 2024
Letting go of strong emotions or people in our lives is undeniably challenging. It's a struggle that many of us face, clinging so tightly to situations that it becomes hard to breathe. I understand this struggle deeply, both through personal experience and conversations with others. The Power of Proximity Recently, a family member confided in me about feeling ignored and shunned by other relatives. It's a painful realization that those closest to us have the greatest capacity to hurt us. This closeness makes it even harder to establish the necessary distance and maintain objectivity. Recognizing that family bonds don't automatically equate to healthy relationships is crucial. Everyone views life through their unique lens, reacting accordingly, often making it difficult to grasp why they act the way they do. Yet, it's possible to create the needed distance, whether mentally, physically, or emotionally. Letting Go as Self-Care Letting go is more than an action; it's a mindset, an essential aspect of self-care, and arguably one of the most challenging skills to master. It's about prioritizing oneself over the actions or reactions of others. Step One: Embrace Your Emotions The first step in letting go is to allow yourself to fully experience your emotions. Identify and name them. Whether you're feeling angry, hurt, or sad, it's vital to acknowledge these feelings without reacting impulsively. Find a private space to express your emotions freely, whether it's through screaming, crying, or writing them down and then destroying the paper. It's about finding a healthy outlet for these emotions. Step Two: Change Your Thoughts Understand that your emotions are fueled by your thoughts, which often run on a loop, replaying the events that caused you pain. Remember, thoughts precede emotions. Taking control of your thoughts means actively choosing to replace negative loops with more positive or neutral ones. This step isn't about suppressing thoughts but owning them and steering them in a new direction. Step Three: Set a Time Limit Decide how long you'll allow yourself to dwell on the situation. This could range from hours to weeks. Acknowledge that the longer you cling to these feelings, the longer you'll remain in a state of distress. Setting a deadline helps in gradually moving past the pain and towards a healthier mindset. Step Four: Distract and Redirect Engage in activities that shift your focus. Having a hobby or interest can be incredibly beneficial during these times. Whether it's reading, exercising, crafting, or even binge-watching TV, the goal is to occupy your mind constructively, not to numb the pain but to redirect your energy positively. The Cycle of Healing It's normal to revisit painful emotions or situations, but each time you do, return to step one and repeat the process as necessary. The goal is to become so adept at navigating these steps that the journey of letting go becomes a natural response to emotional pain. Letting go is a profound topic, one that many find challenging. It's a path I've walked myself, and I'm here to support others through it. If you're struggling with letting go, remember, you're not alone. Reach out, and let's talk about how you can start taking better care of yourself. Remember, the journey of letting go is not just about losing something or someone; it's about gaining back your peace, strength, and joy. Stay up to date with my latest posts and insights by subscribing to my newsletter for FREE.